Physics simulations in VRChat are limited in realism because creators can't modify most of the variables in physics settings.
For example, I'm working on a mini golf map and my golf balls stick to walls at low speeds rather than bouncing off realistically. I've gotten the editor's simulation to look nearly 1:1 with real golf balls by changing the "Bounce Threshold" in the PhysicsManager to 0. However, these changes do not carry over when I'm testing the map in VRChat.
I can maybe understand restricting the solver iterations to prevent lag, but even then it should be up to creators to optimize their worlds. If the physics settings can be made changeable it would be very appreciated!